Frustration, Part 2

Continued from Frustration, Part 1

Even as I write, some part of me hesitates in being perfectly frank. Perhaps it's my conscience protesting my participation in "bad literature" or I am embarrased of what my very good friend's mom will think about me. But the truth is, I am not ashamed of having read the story. I actually learned something productive.

My motivation for picking up this particular series stems from a recent interested in the "big name authors." I am curious to see what makes them so popular. And so far, I have been unanimously disappointed with the big name authors.

But we are discussing Stackpole. And specifically the last three books of the DragonCrown War Cycle. (Say that three times fast.) As the title describes, the story is ultimately about a crown that has been created, and subsequently broken into pieces, to control dragons and the quest of the main antagonist to gather the dispersed pieces and reassemble them so that she can burn the world off and free the original adversaries of the dragons. [The dragons are depicted as sentient, extremely long lived (think millennia) creatures. And actually have very little time in the series.]

But I am getting ahead of myself.

The first book [actually the second in the cycle but the first that I read ( I didn't, nor do I plan on reading the first)] opens with the introduction of the main protagonist, Will. A fifteen year old thief who is pulling the biggest heist of his life on the toughest thug in the Dims, the main slum of what could be described as the America of Stackpole's created world. His entire life's ambition is to become the greatest thief ever, better than even the most notorious thief of them all, the Azure Spider.

However, his heist goes South and he is discovered by said thug and subsequently pursued through the slums. Ultimately he is cornered and as the thug is demanding the return of his stolen goods, young Will is rescued by a man and an elf with an odd name. Not what you think. It's Resolute. But is he really rescued? Will is beginning to think not.

Sound interesting? That's why I picked it up and allowed it to suck me in.

It turns out that Keyden's Crow, the man, and Resolute are basically kidnapping young Will. But no worries; Will is the orphaned son of a dead prostitute who has been raised by Fagan. No, that's not the man's name but that is obviously who Stackpole patterned the character after. I don't remember what the name is but he takes in orphans and teaches them to steal, among other things, and when they get too old to control, he "sends them away." And we all know what that means. Though we never actually meet "Fagan" and it is never expressly said, we get the impression that Will is soon to be "sent away" and Will, on some level knows this, as he is planning his big heist to please "Fagan" with his haul.

Again, no worries, because, remember, Will is being kidnapped.

The man and the elf turn out to be battle hardened warriors engaged in a two man campaign against the Evil Northern Empire Aurolan, or something like that, seeking the Chosen, Prophesied One who will defeat the Evil Chytrine. And they think that Will might just be that person.

My biggest disappointment came when several chapters in, Stackpole changed the view of the narrative from that of Will to a, at the time, seemingly secondary character. The previous chapter ended with Will and his kidnappers-lately-turned-mentors escaping into the wilds. The whole point of a chapter ending with a cliff hanger is to keep you hooked, keep you turning pages. I turned the page and discovered, not a gentle fan to keep the fire of my interest alive, but a cold wall of water. I was confronted with the perspective of the Golden Wolf. And I was left wondering, "Who is this woman and why should I care about her?" And the truth is, I never came to care about her. She was this Wonder Woman of a character who issued nonsensical orders and seemed to be created solely for the purpose of fulfilling some affirmative action requirement. Her adoptive sister, who hardly got any time in the entire series, captured my attention much more than the chapters and chapters of the Golden Wolf. I could have cared less if Stackpole had killed her off.

But it didn't stop there. More characters were created and given their own chapters, their own perspectives. So that Will, the character that had drawn me in, lost even more storytelling time. At the back of my mind, while I am reading about so-and-so, I was wondering "When are we going to get back to the story?" It was like commercials interrupting my favorite show.

To be continued . . .

Frustration, Part 1

I am beginning to understand how James Fennimore Cooper and C.S. Lewis and the Inklings felt.

The first is reported to have thrown a book across the room in disgust, exclaiming to his wife that he could write a better novel than the one that he had just finished. She, of course, as all good little wives do, challenged him to do it then. Which he did. And apparently he wasn't wrong, because he became one of the greatest novelists of his time. Perhaps you've heard of The Last of the Mohicans? I read many of his books as a teenager, and loved them, despite the fact that you can skip entire chapters and not miss a thing. He is rather verbose. And loves expounding upon the glories of a single blade of grass.

C.S. Lewis and his associates where disappointed in the lack of modern literature that they could enjoy. So they decided that, if nothing else, they could wright what they liked and pass it around among themselves. One of the funniest stories that I have heard about their meetings was when Tolkein began to read some of his completed work in his deep, monotone voice, another associate said " . . . No! Not more elves!"

What has brought me to this current point of frustration? I'm glad you asked.

I can count on one hand how much Fantasy I have read in twenty-five years, and on two fingers how much High Fantasy. My current disposition comes after 1300 pages of wasted time spent on a Stackpole trilogy.

It started out Innocent enough: with a good cover, and an intriguing title: Fortress Draconis.

Now, I knew Stackpole was a fantasy writer and as a rule, I don't read Fantasy or encourage the reading of Fantasy. Much less High Fantasy. There's that whole, "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" thing. The realization and conviction that I have about witchcraft is that its practice is diametrically apposed to Christ and his teachings.

Never-the-less, I was curious. (I know, I know, "what killed the cat?") So I grabbed the book and began reading right there in the library isle. And it intrigued me. I did not encounter any foul language and as I skimmed through the book I didn't encounter any, shall we say, unbecoming behavior, or sorcery. So I took it home. And the story itself drew me in.

It wasn't long, however, before I encountered what my casual inspection had missed: the demons, and then the witches.

Even as I write, some part of me hesitates in being perfectly frank. Perhaps it's my conscience protesting my participation in "bad literature" or I am embarrassed of what my very good friends mom will think about me. But the truth is, I am not ashamed of having read the story. I actually learned something productive.

to be continued . . .

AWOL

It is ironic that I should talk about Mike Tyson's Knock-Out and then promptly discover what I have been looking for for several years now.

Of course, I have to give Belle all the credit for my discovering.

Shortly after I left my New Years post, I came home and found Shannon labouring over Karsten's CarGame. Something she had discovered through her endless perusal of the blogosphere. Naturally I had to help her out. Which of course led me to playing some of his other games. Nibbly is kinda fun too. Trouble Underground is irritatingly fun. One mistake and you have to start over from the beginning. These three are puzzle solving. So, you won't feel like you're wasting any time if you play them. I never do anyway.

But naturally, I wasn't satisfied with these games. The challenges that they presented were stimulating . . . but one can only chase his tail so many times (a hint for Nibbly) before he grows tired.

So I did a query on the web for Nintendo Entertainment System Games Online, or something like that.

I struck gold, much to my surprise. A couple of years ago I did the same thing and found nothing. Butkis. Zip. Nada.

Not so at Everyvideogame.com. I discovered more NES games than I ever imagined existed.

And I was shocked at how lousy 1980s/90s Cutting Edge Video Game Technology was.


It is amazing how the mind embellishes memory. How we remember everything, good memories at least, as being much better than they really were. I wonder, with a great deal of certainty, if the same can be applied to "bad memories."

Granted there are those moments in our past that really are incredibly wonderful and incredibly horrible. But are there really, now, as many as we remember?

If you're curious to see what 1980's children's entertainment looked like, then follow the links.

This is Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! the game that I talked about playing with my buddy Dan.

I never had an NES. But my neighbor James did. Our favorite game was Contra. He also had Double Dragon which ironically doesn't really have anything to do with dragons and everything to with street brawling and rescuing the kidnapped girl. AND it has, indisputably, the best score ever created for a video game.

He also had Ninja Gaiden my favorite single player game.

And last but not least, one of my brothers, who had an NES briefly, had Life Force which, I believe, pretty much sums up the list of games that I played as a child that I wanted to, as we called it then, flip. That is what we called beating games. "Did you flip that game?" "Dude, I totally flipped Ninja Gaiden last night!" You get the picture.

If you're familiar with gaming or like gaming then you have to check out these small tokens of all but buried history. And I have to say, if you think the games they make today are hard, then you have never played the old NES games. They are difficult to the point of inducing insanity. I don't know what kept us kiddies coming back. I have my opinion on the matter, but I'll save it for another post. Lets just say that I am totally grateful for saved games.

His True Talent Exposed

So we saw this on TV the other week. I don't normally watch SNL, but after they did the Sarah Palin skits I started just checking in.

It was a re-run of a Ben Affleck hosted episode. Now, I have come to call Ben Affleck what Thomas Sowell calls him: Ben Afflicted, or what I call him Ben Can't-Act-fleck. I think he is a horrible actor, and I couldn't tell you why. Unlike his buddy Matt, I just don't believe him. But I think that you will all come to agree with me that the following parody is brilliant and brilliantly performed. Well worth watching over and over and over. Perhaps sketch comedy is where his true talent lies.

That, and I love it when the left lampoons itself, when someone has become so obnoxious that even his cohorts can't help but ridicule him.

Enjoy