Friday, April 6, 2007

Wow

I guess I didn't know what I was getting into. "Whewwww." Don't take it the wrong way, I just didn't realize how many people would respond, and how well. Thanks. Keep it up.

It's amazing how things sometimes go: K-ree hit my thought right out of the gate, quickly followed by CowgirlE. Modesty must start at the heart. The true essence of outward modesty is inward modesty. It's a bi-product of the nature of Christ. Whether you're a christian or not. If an individual does not have modesty inside, how can you ever expect them to behave/dress modestly outwardly. Do they know how to behave better? Have they ever been taught? Do we compromise our standards to allow for their lack of knowledge? Absolutely not.

I love the quote "Your clothing should be snug enough to show you are a woman, but loose enough to prove you're a lady." That pretty much sums up my opinion about it all.

I did see that survey that K-ree mentioned, in fact that's what got all this started, and I had to shake my head. I told Belle that "if that is how badly, and all, those guys are thinking about, then they needed to find something else to do." Especially "christian" men. But I understand that the culture is "Guys thinking about Dolls" and visa-versa, and that the christian community suffers from the same ailment.

I think that there is a tendency to over compensate in the name of "modesty." The Arab nations have adopted this practice. Burkha's anyone? Head scarves? They take these incredibly beautiful women and instead of allowing and encouraging them to dress "modestly", they enslave them, out of fear and insecurity, in shapeless bags. To what end? Selfish aggrandizement.

I believe that there are two types of clothes: daily wear and occasional wear. Daily Wear is, well, exactly what it sounds like: clothes you would wear daily. Occasional Wear is exactly that too. See, we're brilliant. haha. Let me give you an example. I don't wear shorts. Now, I don't have a problem with shorts, at all. I just don't wear them. I'm not a boy anymore. Except, and you guessed it, on Occasion. I wear shorts when I play soccer, when I play basketball (haven't in years), when I run (again, not in years), and I wear swim trunks when I swim, and with no shirt. Have you ever tried any of those in pants or sweats? (They call them sweats for a reason.) Have you ever swam in a T-shirt? I never enjoyed feeling like I was drowning in seaweed. When I'm on a job sight, and it's unnaturally hot, I take my shirt off, (nothing like drowning on dry land) that is unless there is a woman "on sight." I understand, the job isn't the pool. When it's just a bunch of guys and my Pops says, "Nobody wants to see your naked body." I always say "Thank Goodness!"

From this man's perspective:

For the Ladies who do or consider swimming in T's, sometimes they're worse than not. Wet cotton has this inherent ability to mold to it's substructure and from what I understand, most swimsuits are padded and designed to shed water, not retain it, therefor most of the fine details are left un-highlighted. Now swimming shorts? I completely understand.

The one quote about clothing detracting from the face was pretty interesting. My motto has always been: "If you're not in business, don't advertise." But having said that, let me give you ladies some insight into the human male mind: if a man wants to think about you, in an unrighteous manner, it doesn't matter what you wear. So please, don't fashion your wardrobe after some man's standard, throwing out all your pretty outfits and buying stock in denim. (I almost hate denim.) But rather fill your closets with the precepts of righteousness and the guiding of the Holy Ghost, which doesn't always shout. If you don't have the Holy Ghost, then never-the-less, strive to be a Lady. And Ladies never advertise. Ultimately, they just don't have to. And we are experiencing a desperate shortage of Ladies.

I think that it's important to note that modesty is not just for the Ladies. Guys must be modest as well. Correct me if I'm wrong, I think with us, it's a lot less physical. I mean, we can put on a pair of pants and a T shirt and we're done. I think with us guys, it's more about conduct. How do we interact with other guys? How do we relate to the world at large? With bragging mouths and an arrogant demeanor? Or with a simpleminded, Healthy Sense of Self Awareness? How do we treat you Ladies? Presumptuously? Or Respectfully, despite who you may be?

In closing: What is Modesty? Websters 1828 defines it as "That lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one's own worth and importance. This temper when natural, springs in some measure from timidity, and in young and inexperienced persons, is allied to bashfulness and diffidence. In persons who have seen the world, and lost their natural timidity, modesty springs no less from principle than from feeling, and is manifested by retiring, unobtrusive manners, assuming less to itself than others are willing to yield, and conceding to others all due honor and respect, or even more than they expect or require." And the last two sentences of his forth deffinition "In this sense, modesty results from purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor."

I love that deffinition "fortified by education and principle." Modesty isn't something that we blindly latch onto because it's a tenant of our religion, one that we secretly despise, or because we are told to be modest. But rather, true modesty is born out of a modest soul that understands its undeserved value in the eyes of God. The same soul that could care less what the world thinks of it. Becuase really, we've been there, and we don't want to go back.

CowgirlE, yes, A.K.U.S. is Alison Krause and Union Station. Yes, I love them! They're people so I can say that. She has this great voice that is unmatched, awesome violin talent, and the band is incredible. Not that it means anything, but did you know that she has won more Grammies than any other artist in the history of Grammies? Pretty cool, huh. And as far as posting goes, post all you want. That's what it's there for.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with you one hundred and ten Percent!
I was going to post some things I found about modesty last year-but I did't get around to it. Sorry :-(
Nack

Erica said...

Right on, Tyson! Good post.

I didn't read that Modesty Survey, and go through all of my clothes, and say "one guy said this sort of thing bugged him; it's in the trash." I mean, this one guy comments something like "I don't think I've ever seen a woman in high-heels walk modestly." I happen to have a pair of warm, tall, boots with probably 2.5 inch heels, and as far as I can tell, I'm not immodest when I wear them! For pete's sake, our church building is COLD in the winter! So I'm not sure I could agree with that. But overall, I think the survey was interesting.

I loved your paragraph about Daily Wear and Occasioinal Wear. I run quite a bit, and I do wear shorts. We live out in the country; they go down to my knees; my parents are okay with it. I would NEVER wear shorts just to go shopping or something.

I swim in a rash guard, which is just like a t-shirt with capped sleeves, only it's made out of more swimsuit-like material. Dries quickly, doesn't cling. It's awesome.

I have to agree that A.K.U.S. is pretty amazing. Her voice. Wow. Blows me away. :) Some of her songs I don't like, but the ones I do, I could listen to all day long. And the band is really good.

Like I said, good post. Thanks!

Erica

Rebecca said...

I agree with you, Ty...
You know I do. I think we hashed all this out last night! Anyway, I just want to say that we, as girls, can't base what we wear on whether or not we may cause a guy to stumble. As long as we feel our clothing choices glorify God, we're good. If the guy's have a problem... I don't think our clothes are their real problem. Ditto for the girls. Also, since I'm on the subject... We girls need to give the guy's a little slack. They're not perfect either. We absolutely cannot blame the guys for our downfalls anymore than they should blame us for their's. We need to look at our own hearts.
Ok, I'm done.
*climbs down off soapbox*
*smiles angelicly*

Anonymous said...

I have been keeping up on everyones posting and I must say that I really agree with everything that has been said! It's interesting... I have found that for the past twenty-one years of my life I have not sat down and had a long talk about modesty, or been asked about it, or basically given my whole opinion/belief on it. But when I am shopping and I look at myself in the dressing room mirror and I blush for myself, I either try and fix the problem or I don't take the clothing home. It's as simple as that. Now modesty for me, is not a set of rules, because I certainly couldn't list them for you, it's not a nessesarly dictated by someones opinion (although I will readily listen to whatever thoughts my parents give me), and it's not something that I ware myself out trying to figure out. It's something that has to be worked into to you deep down, and when it is it becomes natural and it happens without thought.
A couple of weeks ago I saw a dress that I liked, I tried it on, I coudn't decide if I should bye it. So I bought it and took it home to ask my mother, after I had her opinion I would decide if I should return it or not. She thought it was ok, but my Dad said he didn't like it. I asked him "why?" he wasn't sure why and left it up to me. Later my sis. asked me if I was going to keep it. I said "What! Of course not! Can you imagine wearing something that Dad said he didn't like! I just couldn't stand that!"
I read that survey by the Christian young people, and in some ways I found it interesting and helpful, but I told Katie "I have just one question I would like to ask these guys, 'Did answering these questions cause you to stumble?'"
Sometimes to much thought in this subject can cause it's own problems. Like the headscarves and jean sacks people get confused and it dosen't bring them any closer to God.
~Susie~